Tigyawat

By: Necylene Kate B. Gacilo
Miriam College, II-AB IS

Mata, namumula,
Simula ng bangungot ng isang dalaga.
Pasan ang kahihiyan,
Dulot ng ibang mga matang mapanghusga.

Mata, nanlilisik,
Hinuhubaran ang pagkatao ng isang mayumi.
Dinudumihan ang warak na kaluluwang,
Nagiisa, naghuhumiyaw

Mata, nawasak,
Ang isang buhay na tahimik.
Malalim sa impyerno
Ang markang hinampas, iniwan

back to top

 WOMEN. Who for me are women? Besides from being considered as the weaker group by modern day discrimination, they are also regarded as the gender inferior to men. But taking into consideration the beauty existing within the idea of ‘women’ and their INEVITABLE presence in our society, we could say that they are the ones who make this world a little crazier and noisier. They are the ones who light the home, who makes life sweeter and happier. Without them, men’s lives would be nothing. And c’mon, I’m sure that it would be a hundred and one percent boring if women do not exist. Fashion, runway, malls, bars, school and even in church, can you imagine these places if all you see are men? Would these places be of color without the ladies? I don’t think so.

We all know that women are supposed to be the half of men, right? We should not regard them as someone more than men or less than men either. So don’t you think that we deserve to be treated right? Why are women always the victims of such human rights violation like rape or harassment? Why are we treated this way? Why are we regarded as the weaker sex? And what’s with the world that we have been facing numerous discriminations?

I don’t want to end up being so biased. Hey, I love men. I love the idea of looking at them and feeling the “kilig” thing when you see your crush of the opposite sex. But what I hate most is the ironic discrimination and inequality that these genders are experiencing. Why should women be regarded as the group inferior to men? Can’t the society place women beside men and not under men? Well I am not saying that women should be treated extra special but hey, don’t we deserve something better than how we are treated?

I, just like very girl wants to be treated like a queen. I want to be loved, respected and cared for. I don’t want to be a part of those who are taken for granted by this society, by the community, family members and by the people I love. I don’t want to simply be beaten up by my boyfriend or may future husband. A while ago, during the talk that we had about CEDAW or more popularly known as the Convention on the Elimination of all forms of Discrimination Against Women, I realized that I’ve been a victim though I was never raped, okay? Let’s just put it this way, some of my rights as a girl were violated by my ex-boyfriend. But I don’t want to make a drama out of that. It’s past and I don’t want to end up crying here. He hurt me not just emotionally if I may add but physically and verbally. If I may say so, he has been sorry for everything that he did. At first, I was always sad, feeling inferior of all the things that had happened. But in a way, I became thankful of those. Weird, right? But you know why? Because if he hadn’t done that, I was not able to see and realize that I, as a lady deserves to be respected and treated right. I deserve to live a life just like how men live, free of discrimination.

We know how the society has this certain cultural expectations on men and women. The men are expected to bring home the bacon, to open doors for the ladies, to initiate the dating thing and the to be the ones who court and women are just those who lights up the home, run errands, do the chores and wait until forever for the right guy to come and say hi. Imagine a girl courting a guy, don’t you think that our society would surely discriminate her and if possible, sue her. I HATE THAT. It’s not that I want to court guys, I don’t, really. But how about those who would want to? Don’t those girls deserve to live a life doing what they want, free of immature discrimination from the society? I never wanted to stay at home, doing the chores, I too just like most men wants to bring home the bacon and be the breadwinner.

What I am trying to point out here is that we, the powerful women of this society deserve to live a life just like men. We deserve to feel the same sexual pleasure as that of men. Taking into consideration the women in Africa whose clitoris are removed for them not to feel the pleasure in bed. We the ladies, deserve to have a life, being who we want to be, doing what we want, free of discrimination, free from violation. Live a life to the fullest because girl you belong to the ‘women’ of the society.

back to top

Girl with Girl: Lesbians and Discrimination
Roselle Root, St. Scholastica’s College, Manila

With the help of CEDAW, the organizations that help with the struggle for non-discrimination of the lesbians in the Philippines have a larger possibility of being heard.

Womyn, for a long time, have been staying under the shadows of men.  They have been barred from doing what they can actually do because of opposing thoughts and reactions from the opposite sex. Thankfully, there have been those who displayed a great deal of bravery and stood up to be heard – that eventually lead to the forming of organizations that fight for womyn rights and help lessen any discrimination on them.

If womyn are already discriminated because of their abilities that men think are lesser than their own, what more if their sexual preferences don’t turn out to be what men expect? What if womyn prefer those of their same kind?The Convention on the Elimination of all forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW) is an international treaty that, from what it’s called, addresses womyn’s rights.  

Their preamble states, “Discrimination against women violates the principles of equality of rights and respect for human dignity”. Although the equality of rights being talked about in the preamble is mostly between womyn and men, there should also be equality of rights between womyn and their same kind. If a woman comes into liking  one of her own, she shouldn’t be looked down upon. She should be able to practice her freedom to choose. If a woman chooses to be with another woman as her partner, then she should be respected for that.

This is where organizations like; The Lesbians for National Democracy (Lesbond) comes in.  This organization may not be international, but it is one of the strongest formed lesbian groups in the Philippines, outside Metro Manila. Groups like these “work and organize lesbians in factories and mining companies in the Mountain Province to protect their rights as lesbian workers and as members of the working class.”- (Rosselle V. Pineda)

Womyn fight to protect their rights in the business/ working world that is dominated by men, therefore lesbians (also being a part of womynkind) should be able to do the same  regardless of their sexual preference, and in time, without the discrimination from both the sexes. If it’s already hard for the womyn to feel inferior with men, it’s doubly hard for the lesbians to fight for their stand because they know that they could be or they are discriminated even by their own kind.

Through CEDAW and Lesbond, this issue may be thought of and dealt with. They could cover a lot more ground when it comes to womyn loving womyn.

Sources: CEDAW Brochure, Voices + Choices, Women write on women

back to top

One is enough. Two is too much.
By: Christa Margarita D. Rivera
Miriam College

I will cry myself to sleep
To forget and forgive what you did
I will keep my mouth shut
For you to stay with me.

I will hid my pains,
Even if I want to go away,
I will try to be patient,
For family and friends.

Things do not stay the same,
So I won’t keep on the game.
I waited so long,
But every turn went so wrong.

It’s been a long time since I’ve had freedom.
Now I want things to be done.
You’ve hurt me so much,
I don’t want this hunch.

I want to be free,
So let me be.
I will fight for what I believe is right.
One is enough. Two is too much.

back to top

So Help Me God
By Zephanie Grace Zuñiga
3B2 – Media Production

She could almost smell the leather. A handsome black leather armchair behind a smooth pinewood desk. Attn. Hodreal engraved on a gold nameplate on top of the table. It was so real already.

“Hodreal, Haley Z.” blared from the eight speakers surrounding the large hall. Sonorous applause from five thousand people as she went on stage to get her diploma. “Your summa cum laude” said the announcer. More applause followed from the crowd. “Congratulations batch 2014!” The graduates roared and threw their hats in the air. One particular hat fell on Haley’s head as her consciousness was brought back to the present.

She was sitting in a white mono block chair amidst other chairs where people were also sitting, facing a large stage where a podium was standing, just like her college graduation. She was wearing dark pinstriped slacks with a matching blazer, her long, thick hair tied up in a high ponytail. A man walked towards the platform on stage and fixed the microphone in front of his mouth. “All rise”, he said as everyone followed quickly as if they have been waiting for this all their lives. “Repeat after me”, the speaker said as Haley’s heart started beating faster. This is it, she told herself. “I, state your name...” She said every word that followed but her mind was far away from the pledge. As the last words came, she knew them by heart. She’s been practicing for weeks but she couldn’t and didn’t say hose 4 words she had been waiting to say ever since she was a child. The speaker and the rest finally said “So help me God”. Ovation from the whole room except Haley. So help me God. She closed her eyes in prayer. Please help me, God. She knew this was the right thing to do.

“Congratulations!” Haley just opened the front door to her house. Everyone she practically knew was there. Great. This is exactly what I need… a surprise party. She said sarcastically to herself. She looked around at the masses of people flooding their living room. Did she have to invite the whole country? Haley glanced at them, all these people flashing big smiles at her, proud of what she’s accomplished. Shame flooded heatedly through her veins as she imagined the looks on their faces if they knew what was going on in her mind right now. More hugs and pats on the back as she walked to the kitchen looking for the source of this surprise gathering; she was wearing her favorite black dress and familiar red pumps. “Congratulations honey! Or do you want me to call you “Attorney?” Oh, Im so proud of you!” said a slim woman around her 50s but still had smooth, young-looking skin. “Mom, you’re wearing my shoes again” Haley said lazily. “Excuse me; this was bought with my money. Besides, it looks better on me”, her mother said giggling. “Mom, can I talk to you for a sec? Privately? It’s important” Her mom sensed the seriousness and said, confused “I don’t know what’s more important right now than basking in the glory of your achievement!” but still followed her daughter to her room.

Her mother closed the door behind her and started going around the room, eyeing every corner. She stopped in front of a dresser and stared at a picture of a woman smiling at a child sitting on top of a man’s shoulders. “If only your father were here, he’d be so proud”. She heard the quiver in her mother’s voice. Haley remembered her father, how they used to be so close. I hope you were here, dad… you would understand.  Her father always supported her in everything, as long as she was joyful. Ever since his death, her life has been as meaningful as stagnant water. Her mother had other plans for her that she followed just because she is all that’s left in her mother’s life.  Haley knew how her mother would react but this had to happen. She sat down on the bed and her mother followed. Haley took a deep breath and said hastily “I didn’t finish the oath-taking”, looking down at her feet from embarrassment. She noticed her mom open her mouth, about to say something but Haley butted in at once. “Before you say anything, please listen. You knew from the very beginning that I wanted to be a writer. Ever since I learned how to hold a pen upright, I knew I would be happy doing this”. “You were 3 years old, you didn’t know any better”, interrupted her mother with a wrinkle between her brows. Haley knew that look too much; the look of disappointment. “But I am 24 years old now, and I still want to”. She explained. “There is no money in writing. You have no future doing that” retaliated her mother sternly. “But I’ll be happy, mom. Don’t you want me to be happy?” “I am your mother, of course I do!” “If you want me to be happy, then why don’t you start acting like it!” Haley’s shame quickly turned into impatience. She wondered why her mother, after 21 years of seeing her write first thing in the morning, during breaks and before bedtime, she still couldn’t get it. “But this is your dream!” shouted her mom, hoping her daughter would reconsider. Haley stood up and looked at her mother with a strong face, courage evident in her eyes and said “No mom, this is your dream”, then left the room, leaving her mother there, waving a white flag in surrender. Finally, Haley turned her back on the lie she’s been living and facing the beginning of a life she truly wanted. She smiled to herself as she thought I’d rather die for something than live for nothing. Not knowing what the future will bring but knowing that whatever it is, she’ll be happy doing it.

back to top

Nothing is Impossible
By: Christabel Anne I. Bautista
Miriam College

            She closed her eyes, anticipating for yet another strong blow. It hit her on the face square on. Her vision became all blurry; blood was falling from her eyes to the sides of her cheek. Inday said sorry for how many times that night but it seemed like no amount of apology could stop her husband from beating her. She didn’t know what she did wrong. Was it because of the half-cooked rice or the unkempt house? Really, it was hard to tell. More tears rolled down her cheeks. Inday tried to cover and protect herself from the even stronger blows. A few more minutes and all this would eventually stop. Well, that was…until tomorrow night. She said sorry a few more times. Inday begged and screamed but it was no use. She had to endure this, she said to herself. After all, he was her husband and this was purely a marital squabble.

            Inday is a purely fictional character. Her appearance, her personality and story were stitched inside my brain. From my imagination, she came to life. Nonetheless, Inday’s story was patterned in the most realistic setting. Inday was a mother and a wife. A striving wife, who even though experienced pain, stood tall and accepted all sufferings for the sake of the family. Inday, in some people’s point of view, might be perfect example of a good wife. She was caring, responsible and a supportive wife. But we couldn’t deny the fact that Inday was naïve in some way or another. Her husband was hurting her emotionally and physically but she refused to accept the fact that it was no longer a marital fight but a violation against her rights as a woman.

            Violence does not discriminate. It could happen to anyone… regardless of the age, race, nationality, color or gender. It just so happened that the violence against women is one of the most prevailing in our world today. It had been instilled in the systems and societies that removing it would something next to impossible. According to the UNIFEM or the United Nations Development Fund for Women, one in three women will suffer some form of violence in her lifetime. And though actions had been taken to reduce the number, some still refuse to acknowledge the presence of this dreadful deed.

            Violence against women is a crime. It is a crime whether or not the abuser is a spouse, family, friend or a stranger. Sadly, domestic violence is one of the most leading around the globe. Violence or the destructive action or force could be physical, mental or emotional. The US Department of Health and Human Services had provided clear signs to help women work out if they are in an abusive relationship. These were some indicators cited by the website; gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs, threatens to hurt you, the children, or pets, or does hurt you, humiliates you in front of others, prevents or discourages you from seeing friends or family, or going to work or school, forces you to have sex against your will, blames you for his or her violent outbursts…

            Ending violence against women is a work around the world. UNIFEM works globally to promote gender equality and to end violence against women. In order to meet their mission, they constructed the CEDAW or the Committee on the Elimination of Discrimination Against Women. CEDAW, in its simplest terms, aims to provide women with the necessary rights and implications for them to be able to live in a life without discrimination and prejudices. CEDAW is a treaty with 185 signatory countries, the Philippines included. To further improve the situation they continue to monitor the signatory countries and ask other countries to sign the treaty.

            Ending violence against women is a work in action. Violence can affect women any minute and every second of each day. It could happen to your mother, sister, daughter, wife or friend. We should all remember that we are not at fault. You did not cause the abuse to occur. If you or someone you know has been sexually, physically, or emotionally abused, seek help from other family members and friends or community organizations. Unlike Inday, we should know where to draw the line. Get and give help. If we work together, we could overcome this burden to us women. If we think overcoming this discrimination is impossible, think again…Nothing is impossible.   

back to top

Thawing the Frozen
Jasmine N. Shewakramani
St. Scholastica’s College, Manila

In 2007, a Dutch rock band called Within Temptation released a song that charted on the Dutch Hit Chart. What is so special about it, you may ask? Well, the song is called “Frozen” and it is about domestic abuse.

Its music video puts to life the story of a young girl whose father is an alcoholic. Set in the 1800’s, the music video depicts how the girl’s father regularly beats and rapes his wife. When the daughter is also raped, she is scarred deeply and can no longer find love from her father. Her mother, who understands the pain her daughter is going through, poisons her husband and endures a jail sentence so that her daughter can be freed of her fathers’ misdeeds. The band commented that “domestic abuse is an issue [that is] not discussed publicly enough.” This is true, not only for women from the Netherlands, but also for thousands of women around the world.

 Domestic abuse or domestic violence is defined as violence between spouses, family members or any partners who are living together. This violence takes on many forms, including sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, intimidation and deprivation of economic resources.

But why does this happen? According to Bob Davidson, Director of the USA Family Life Chaplain Training Program, there are several reasons why men assault women. Davidson says that men abuse women first and foremost, “simply because they can.” It is a given that men are generally physically stronger than women, and they commit domestic abuse just because they want to.

Men may also abuse women because they want to maintain their status or control in the relationship. Men have always been seen as stronger, and the breadwinner or head of the family. Some cultures may have reinforced this notion through the years because it may be part of their religion or beliefs.

Another reason for domestic violence is negative views on women. “Through history man, through pride, ignorance, or moral perversion, has treated woman as being greatly inferior.” Women have learned to silently become subordinates to their husbands or partners and revere them. This reverence or willful subordination has caused men to gain dominance over women.

Despite the changing times and the increasing awareness of gender sensitivity in society and politics, the issue of domestic violence is still a problem in many countries. In the Philippines, reported cases of abuse have relatively lessened, but the number is still quite alarming, and the number of unreported cases is still left to be considered. From a reported 5, 668cases of physical injuries and wife battering in the year 2001, the number of cases lessened greatly to 1,085 in the year 2006. Reported rape cases have also lowered significantly, from a peak of 1,121 cases in 2000, to 540 cases in 2006.

Domestic violence continues simply because nobody speaks up about it. Women continue to think they’re helpless in these situations, and men continue to think they control all the power. According to Davidson, women cannot speak up about abuse, mainly because of fear that more violence may ensue. They also fear degradation from their peers or social circle, lack of economic support and they fear sinning.

However, the CEDAW says that no woman should be subjected to violence and harm just because of her gender. This is a form of discrimination and abuse that CEDAW wishes to put an end to.  No woman deserves to be abused. There are several women’s organizations in the Philippines that continue to help women who have been subjected to violence and help rebuild their lives. Domestic violence is a problem that can be solved. All it takes is to speak up and seek help.

There is a line from the aforementioned song that goes
“You say that I am frozen
But what can I do?”
The answer? You can do a lot. It just has to start with getting involved.

back to top

Not Enough!
By: Ma. Rocielo B. Nunez
Assumption College

            “Be a woman enough to let a man be a man!” Says the instructor of the pre-prom etiquette classes I had to attend back  when I was in high school; in between lectures on which utensils to use, how to descent the staircase and how to walk in “sticks”. I’m sure she meant well and tried to imply that we should let the guy pull out seats, open doors and foot the bill for us, just as the unwritten code of chivalry dictates, but even then, something ignited the rebellious streak in my nature. Why do men get to look all cool, brave and macho when they respond to the “call” of being “man enough”, and we, swooning females are expected to be the demure, frail, damsel in distress? What exactly is “woman enough” and why does it feel spitefully different from being “man enough”?

            Carmen Guerrero-Nakpil wrote about her experience of being an only daughter in her essay “Woman Enough”. She accepted and worked female stereotypes to her advantage, and enjoyed the perks of being favored during arguments with her brothers, getting away with not doing well in school and even pretending to faint so her brothers had to carry her out during an earthquake. That way, she used her feminine wiles to have power over men. I delighted in the advantages of being a woman while reading her essay; however, I realized that even then, she was not treated as their equal.

            I thought the structures of regency era were only confined to Jane Austen romance and historical fiction, but the notions spawned by gender stereotyping are just lurking in the surface. We encounter gender stereotyping in our daily lives. It is most pervasive when communicated in different forms of media like in TV and print advertising. Men are often characterized as being tough, business minded, the ruling class, and the dominant figure of society, while women are portrayed as having beauty, elegance, passivity, and good domestic abilities.

            Even in this day and age where women empowerment is lauded and promoted by society. I myself have had experiences when I am reminded that I am treated differently because I’m a woman. I’ve griped about not being allowed to drive, but my best friend shared my bitterness with more passion since all her brothers were driving by the time they were in high school and she, like me, had to depend on the men in her family, or commute to get around. These are petty things, I know, but when you consider the reasons behind cheaper car insurance for women and other instances of gender stereotyping, you would learn that is often the source of other forms of women’s rights abuse. For example, domestic violence against woman is rooted in the wicked notions of a male-dominated society. Sadly, society often sees women as the weaker sex and naturally has lower expectations of women, compared to men – and some of us have accepted this disparity. I’ve been too familiar with other girls who major in MRS as well as others who contend themselves with the mediocrity of society’s low expectations for women.

            Sure, when men do everything they can for us, treat us like a child or a goddess; we feel incredibly special – but never like co-equal human beings. If a man treats a woman like a child, it means that he does not respect her enough or believe in her enough to be his equal. When a man fawns over a woman in goddess worship, it shows much about his lack of self-respect. Either way, I believe, that being “woman enough” does not tolerate such kind of treatment from men. Women may think that they are being “woman enough” by using their feminine wiles to get what they want, by being contented with mediocrity and confining themselves to society’s low expectations of them. This, for me, should not be enough for a woman. we, as women, are given the power and duty to care for the world; to nurture and to give life. We should never settle for the low regard society holds for us. We should go beyond society’s expectations, touch more lives, inspire others, better ourselves, give more of ourselves to others and extend our sphere of influence. To be “woman enough” is to be NOTHING LESS than “enough” and EVERYTHING MORE.

            I believe I am woman enough when I stand up against injustices and remain vigilant with regards to my rights. I am woman enough when I consider the repercussions of my actions and I make decisions. I am woman enough when I make other people happy. I am woman enough when I strive for excellence. I am woman enough when I recognize my limits and weaknesses and strive to overcome them. Lastly, just as what Audrey Hepburn said, I am woman enough when I see the good in others, speak words of wisdom and possess the poise to “walk with knowledge that I am never alone.” 

back to top

(No title)
By: Ana Micaela B. Natividad

Innocent. Naïve. A little girl. Shielded from the violence of the world. An only child. A loving family. She has two parents, a mother who always takes care of her and is always there for her, and a father who is too, when he’s not drunk. She’s happy but there are some things she can’t quite understand. Why are there times when her aunt or uncle suddenly takes her away to their house for a while? This usually happens when her parents aren’t happy with each other. When they start talking loud and mad, someone leads her away. When she comes back things are quiet. Her mother is quiet. Everyone else looks like they are doing the exact same thing they were doing before she left. She doesn’t mind them. She wonders if her mom is okay. She looks as if she has been crying and in pain. Her mom tells her she’s fine and smiles. A smile she’s perfected over time. But the little girl can see the hint of a wince that goes along with the smile. It’s always the next day that the spots start showing. Her mom has bluish spots all over. She knows even if she doesn’t ask: her mother was in pain. She never gets a straight answer when she asks anybody in the house anyway. It always bothers her that no one ever tells her what’s wrong with her mother. It bothers her that none of her father’s relatives who live with them seem to care. She wishes she could find someone to help her, tell her the things she needed to know. But there were a few things she knows. One. That one day she’d be grown-up and they couldn’t hide this from her forever. Two. She had a feeling it had something to do with her father. Three. She would never forgive the person who hurt her mother. Even if it was her father.

back to top